Sit ye down and play some cards
For that there is no fee.
But be ye warned you'll face my scorn
If on these we can't agree.

If hidden cards should aid your play
Ones not upon the table,
An anchors bride will be your tide
Wed with ropes and cable.

If your palm should make things seem
To vanish from plain sight,
You'll greet an eel beneath the keel
Ne'er to see the light

If your deal should lay the cards
In an order not ordained,
You'll reach the shore through a cannon's bore
With a ball to which you're chained.

If on the deck you make small marks
To tell which card is where,
You'll be the feed for sharks in need
And each will take a share.

Now alls been said, you need not dread
If with this you do comply.
But should you ask the same of me
I'll poke you in the eye.

Excerpt from Pegleg Pete's book "How to win at cards"